Sometimes in life we experience some really bad moments. Whether it’s a death of a loved one, a break up, losing our job or being diagnosed with any form of illness. It feels like the world caved in on us and we are not able to think outside of the overwhelming emotional pain we feel at that moment. I’ve experienced my share of moments in my life where that pain took over. Where I sat and pondered on “why me” and how was I ever going to achieve a better state of mind or happier times.
Each time something sad or painful happened in my life I always struggled to deal with it, struggled to stay strong. But somehow I’m sitting here today and can look back on those times and say I’m in a better place. I’m sure I may have plenty more of those painful experiences coming my way but I want to share a theory that helped me through alot of my struggles.
“There is no such thing as rock bottom!” Someone always has it worse than us. We just become engulfed in the feeling of self pity and dont allow ourselves to think of anything positive at that moment. For myself I think back to a specific example of how things could always be worse to help me get through some tough times.
A man gets into a car accident and ends up paralyzed. Stuck in a wheel chair. He can’t support his family but his wife has a good job and is able to take care of their necessities. He and his wife go out to the park. He sits around sad and angry that he can’t walk with her. Then another man rolls up in his wheel chair and stops to relax at the park. He wishes he had a wife with him to love and go to the park with because he doesn’t have any family and he’s stuck in a wheel chair. Then another man comes by in a wheelchair with a guide dog to help him get around because he has no family and is blind to top it off! The last guy envies the second guy because he has the ability to see the world. And the second guy envies the first guy because he has a wife and family. And the first guy envies anyone who is not confined to a wheel chair because they have the ability to walk everywhere.
I can keep going with the story but basically trying to say it can always be worse. I lost my mom early but I still had 12 years with her where as some have had none. I still have my dad where as some people have lost both parents. I still have family and friends and some have been struck with such bad luck that they end up alone. So instead of focusing on what Ive lost I now try to think about all the blessings I’ve gained and have been blessed enough to retain.
It’s never easy when you are in a moment of sadness and pain to think about the good. But fully embrace the pain. Cry it out or punch the furniture or scream your head off then start grieving. And during your grieving period of those sad moments in your life you just need to remind yourself that it can always be worse. Remind yourself of all the postive things you are lucky to have in your life. Cherish those things. Cherish those people. Cherish those pets. Cherish your health and whatever wealth you possess. Because no matter how bad it gets. There can always be worse. When you reach a point that you think you have hit rock bottom please remind yourself that rock bottom truly doesn’t exist because relative to someone else’s thought of rock bottom you may be in a way better place.
To those of you going through struggles please be courageous and please believe me when I say “better must come”. Hang in there and never give up! Talking to others helps. And most of you know I’m pretty good at listening after all these years of being a barber and hearing your life experiences. So holler at your boy if you feel alone and need someone to talk to!